If you ever doubted that those 3 words would be strung together into one sentence, let your doubts be shattered like you will shatter stars in the epic minimalist title by Adult Swim.

Robot Unicorn Attack is awesome. I'm just going to start off by saying that. I mean I heard about this game from a friend, and normally those prove to be pretty good leads, the conversation went like this.

"Hey man, are you hooked on the latest game, Robot Unicorn Attack?"-him
"No never heard of it."-me
"It's this crazy flash game, you have to check it out... and you will love the music."-him

Those sorts of conversations are the things that make me keep doing this blog every single day. Let me tell you this game will not disappoint. It is of the genre that is sometimes called minimalist games, where you do as little as possible and the game takes everything else into its hands.

Essentially from the title we can assume several things. You are a unicorn bent on total annihilation of this world called... well lets call it 'Dream Land'. And in dream land, as a deadly killer robot unicorn... similar to The Terminator... it is our mission to have a strong a 'Wish' as possible. In fact we get three wishes, and the strength (score) of each is summed up to give us our final. I personally would like to think this is the amount of death and destruction we have caused, since if I was a Robot Unicorn, that would be my mission in life.

Essentially, the game plays like one of those helicopter games, where you are constantly moving in 1 direction, with no control over how fast you travel and all you can decide to do is jump or attack.

Z is jump and X is attack. These are the only controls you need.

You start off relatively slowly, and score is collected in 3 different manors. The first is simply the longer you travel the higher your score based solely on time. And of course the longer the time the faster the randomly pieced together level moves. Eventually it gets to such a pace that you actually have to get lucky to land some jumps. The second way to accumulate death and destruction points is by collecting fairy thingies... we don't really know what they are, but since we are a Unicorn we will address them as fairies... Seems appropriate. The third way is the most rewarding and most interesting.

Crash through Statically placed stars for huge points. You see the points on cumulative so you start off getting 100 for a star then 200 then 300... and you can do the math. However if you miss a star and happen to go over it, then your cumulative score will reset back to 100 for the next star.

Hint: Don't miss a star.

The physics, as simple as they are, allow for some interesting button glitching. Jumping while in an attack can actually get you over some ledges if you are going to hit them, so just always jump. Actually, you can double jump by pressing Z again while in the air, and if you attack, you can then jump once more. This leads to a scenario where you can actually stay air-born the entire game if you wanted to. I advise you to look out for low hanging walls, as they will obliterate you instantly. Also, don't miss a jump because the only thing that happens when you fall down a hole in wish land is you go back to reality, and logically since Robot Unicorns can't exist in reality, you die.

The music, oh the music. I don't think there is a way to disable it, but who cares. This stuff is so laid back and relaxing that it fits perfectly... if you imagine you are ravaging the hopes and dreams of all the world as a deadly robot unicorn on the attack.

I really have to say I was pleased with this game, it's a good waste of time, I just didn't like the fact that the website required me to register to get access to the high scores... I don't like registering...


Longevity: 3.5/5
Interface: 4.0/5
Addictiveness: 4.0/5
Sound: 3.5/5
Simplicity: 4.0/5

Overall: 3.8/5